“Weakness” is a word that many people dislike, but its meaning depends entirely on your own definition. I have never been a weak person. Losing my father at just 15 meant I had a choice. I succumb to grief, or I transform it into a foundation of strength. I chose to become stronger because that is what survival required. I have always faced my fears with a gentle smile. When you are forced into independence at 15, you develop resilience. Others not understand this resilience. By 14 or 15, I already had a plan for my life, and I refused to let go of it. Without adult guidance, I leaned on the only thing I had left: my parents’ words. They told me to study, focus on my future, and avoid any path that would lead to regret.
I believed in living in the moment. Still, this is easier said than done. It is particularly challenging when you are a teenager making adult decisions. I had to be my own motivator. Life has never been a “piece of cake.” It has been a series of hard, painful struggles that I faced entirely alone. Even then, I never allowed myself to show a form of weakness.
I viewed every unexpected turn—whether a blessing or a curse—as an experience to learn from. I have made mistakes. Still, I never let go of my education. I knew that if I did not push myself, no one else would.
Then, I became a parent. I became a “double parent” for my child, whom I love more than anything in this world. He was the blessing I never saw coming. When I looked at his face, I realised my purpose. He forced me to confront fears I did not know I had. He unlocked a capacity for love I did not think I can give. He helped me realise that I am a good person. My heart had simply been shut down by the constant disappointments of my youth.
For a while, I became a different version of myself—someone softer, more emotional. I stopped being so hard on myself for my mistakes. In the eyes of the world, I have appeared “weaker,” but it was not a bad thing. OR I appeared to seem too strong. I was so focused on my child. My brain tricked me into thinking I needed to focus on pleasing people who did not actually matter. I wanted everyone to feel wanted and loved. Eventually, I realised that love, care, and respect must be earned. They should not be granted just because someone is “there.”
As a mother, I prioritised having certain people around my child. But I eventually learned an important lesson. Those people must be good for you, too. If they are not, they do not belong in your life. You should not have to make amends for their actions. Relationship are not one-way streets. For a few years, I have overlooked the toxicity in my circle. You can call it a slip or call it hormones. But I see clearly now. If I have been kind to those who did not deserve it, it was a reflection of my values. It was not a reflection of theirs. But that time has passed. People change, and I no longer tolerate “sh*t” from anyone.
You owe nothing to those who mistreat you. Do not accept disrespect. If someone truly cared for you, they would never even think of mistreating you.
I have learned to walk away slowly because confrontation is often a waste of energy. If you do people wrong and cannot see it, then God help you. Your journey in my life ends here. I don’t have time for insignificant drama or the silly confrontations of people who still have growing up to do. My life has been a battle; pardon me for protecting my peace at any cost. My silence is my explanation. I will never again tolerate the misuse of my kindness.
Showing “weakness” to your inner circle is not a sin nor a form of insecurity. It is exhausting to constantly show strength for a world that does not care. You do not need to please anyone. Evaluate the value people bring to your life. If they bring jealousy, constant disapproval, or betrayal, they need to exit. We only get one life. Make sure you spend it with people who matter—trustworthy people with good intentions.
Be you. Be your own King.
Stop looking for permission to exist. Your differences are not flaws; they are your crown. Embrace them with everything you have. Even if you’re the lone voice in the crowd—the only one wearing the “wrong” jersey while your entire circle shouts for the rival—own it. Who cares?
The beauty of humanity lies in the clash of different beliefs and the fire of individual passion. We are not meant to be echoes of one another. We support who we want, we believe what we want, and we answer to no one’s vision but our own. Simple as supporting the opposite football team compared to your circle.
And those shadows? Your weaknesses? They belong to you. No one else has the right to weigh them, measure them, or use them as a gavel. You are your own judge, your own jury, and your own greatest ally. Stand tall in your truth, because a King does not bow to the expectations of the masses.